Friday, November 17, 2006

ELVIS: Still a force for good.

Pussy Galore, (her parent, a Venusian Hermaphrodite who impregnated theirself in a New Haven movie theatre during a screening of Goldfinger) was a happy-go-lucky space traveler who visited Earth periodically.
During this visit she would reawaken some dormant volcanoes to again slow Global Warming through Global Haze, (a pet project of her's since the council of 37 had given her Earth as her- 'Ameliorating the local impact of primative life forms to ensure containment' assignment). An assignment that basically entailed preventing the dominant primative life forms of any given planet, from buggering things up so badly at home that they came blundering out into the universe looking for a new home.

Little did she know that the hearts of men could contain things far darker than trying to convince one another that Nuclear Power was viable and safe for the Planet.
Peligro Biologico, (a darkly twisted individual with a taste for fungi grown next to those rusting, leaking barrels of chemicals, that he would find in the far corners of abandoned manufacturing facilities) had chosen Pussy to be his dark bride.
"Try the cheesecake" he growled, "I made it myself, it's New York style".

Pussy tried to eat P B's cheesecake, little knowing the chemical cocktail it contained within , but each time she tried to take a bite she would eject the cake faster than a Belemic at a birthday party.
"Don't eat that dessert little lady" a voice drawled; it was the Witchfinder General himself, Elvis Priestly.

"Peligro Biologico..... it seems you're always where there's an unattended drink or dessert. I haven't forgotten who contaminated the canned pineapple while I was on the set of 'Blue Hallelujah'".

"Priestly you meddling fool, be careful I don't curdle your hair oil."

"You don't frighten me P.B, now go before I make you listen to 18 choruses of 'Don't be cruel.... to a choirboy's stool'."

And with that exchange, Peligro Biologico slunk off leaving a noxious smell and the varnish peeling from the floor.

"Oh Elvis Priestly, thank you, thank you very much."


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