Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Hubris: a cautionary tale.

Brother Gregory, is a friar in the little-known Pistachio Brotherhood.
The Brotherhood was named for Saint Pistachio (the patron saint of ballerinas) who discovered, named and cultivated the Pistachio nut.
Gregory has been visited by the Christmas Fairy (note the lipstick on his forehead). His eyes still burn with the light of religious fervor from the God-given opportunity he has received to elevate the Brotherhood's commercial status.

He will take the precious water that flows from the spring at the Pistachio monastery and sell it to the people.
He will market this magical beverage under the name 'Pis Water'.
Finally, after centuries of smoldering resentment the Pistachio Brotherhood would stride from the shadow of those 'one hit wonder' braggarts, the Cappuchin Monks with their frothy little cappuchinos, and bask in the glorious light of fame.

Gregory receives a lot of attention at the product release party and he falls prey to the sin of hubris.
He disappoints and then offends his muse the Christmas Fairy, when he tells her that it is 'his' Pis Water that she is drinking, and, that 'he' is "working on a deal with Starbucks".

Christmas Fairy decides that she must save Brother Gregory from himself.
She releases to the press a photograph of Brother Gregory partying with Elvis Priestly by the Christmas Tree, and in his hand she photoshops a Bass Ale.
The ensuing uproar drowns out any positive publicity that 'Pis Water' had garnered, particularly as the Cappuchins launch a smear campaign portraying 'Pis Water' as "The refreshment of hypocrites".
The gutter press join the witch hunt, printing the photo (without challenging it's authenticity) on the front page above a towering headline that screams "BASS IS IN THE FRIAR'.

Nobody wants to drink Brother Gregory's 'Pis Water'.

Gregory is recalled in disgrace to the Monastery where he is demoted to tending the Monastery's maggot heap.


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